it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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