He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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