I just threw up on my dentist
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize