ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
