i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
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If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
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I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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