He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
