I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can you bring me the toilet please
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
