You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize