I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
It's Friday. Sex?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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