11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
