take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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