You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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