she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
