In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
