Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
