i permit you to call me
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there's paper in my vomit.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
