I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
