oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Shame - the story of my life.
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