i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
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I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
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I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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