Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
