no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
