It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
