ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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