just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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