I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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