idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
