Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
