i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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