That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
