I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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