Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
