its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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