Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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