i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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