my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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