If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
