the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
