Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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