Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
