is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
