i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
