How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
