maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize