Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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