She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
