It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
he just fucked me for my cheese..
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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