sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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