i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
