Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
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the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
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Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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