Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
