Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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