wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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