So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
