i need an iv and a liver transplant
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he just fucked me for my cheese.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
