I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
