He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think your dad took our porno
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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