I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
