we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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