Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
