I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
