With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
