I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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