I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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