that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
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I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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